if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
i believe in u and ur pee
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
