She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
