my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
