Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
