Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
