YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
It's blow job season.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize