I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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