But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
