Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
and she was petting her beer can
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
