this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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