what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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