Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
