the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
