Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Someone shattered a urinal.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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