Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
