Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
