You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
