He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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