her vagine was all disorganized.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
