I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
