It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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