Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
