I wish I could teleport
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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