physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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