remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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