Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
