If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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