We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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