You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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