i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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