my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize