Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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