I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
