Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
