She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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