Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
MIDGETS
????
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Enjoy the penises
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
