I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
