So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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