I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
