my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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