Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
