apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Little spoons don't ask big questions
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Randomize
