Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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