I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
