So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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