I'd wear matching sweaters with you
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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