My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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