There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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