so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
