Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
