Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
