We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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