I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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