Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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