We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
