The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
