The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
