break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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