I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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