You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
